Giving Thanks for What We Don't Yet Have

Phoenix was ok... grandpa passed away on Wednesday night, about 10 hours before I got on the plane to go out and see him. The time with the family was really great; we all came together like we never had before and became what a family is supposed to be, and I am proud to be a member. I got home on Tuesday night feeling exhausted in new ways that I had yet to discover... it's amazing how many different ways this broken world can chafe against us, isn't it? Since then, it feels like someone else has been going through the motions of my life for me... it's all a bit of a fog. I'm not sure if it's grief, or physical stuff, or what; I just know that its going to take a long time to feel "normal" again... it's not just my grandpa. I just feel beat down by life right now, and Someone is gonna have to come alongside me and pick me up again. Someone BIG. Someone... fresh and new and familiar and present. Someone offering a hope and a future that's better than the one I've imagined for myself.